A blog about Crossing The Bridge of Fire to find “The Hero Within”. A blog that narrates the author’s journey as a message to others about how to heal the emotional effects of a problematic childhood, teenage trauma and adulthood PTSD to become a whole and happy person able to find their passion and feel completely at home in their own body.
An introduction to the the concept of being openly willing to radical inner change. With some heart-warming and some personal stories, it is all about finding the inner strength to shine.
Excerpt:
“It was during my own delicate and chaotic years of recovery, the relationships it spanned and the addictions it created that the challenges and solutions for a better life pushed me towards healing at ever deepening levels and my search for body/mind wholeness got a real grasp.
Joy, happiness, and the kind of success I had been yearning for slowly become reality in the second half of my life.
New careers furnished new opportunities, new worlds opened up and astonishingly diverse businesses took off, nourished by the skills and ability to take better, more wholesome risks. I grew faith in the power of healing and a joy in connecting with people in a way I had never achieved before. more…
Comment on “The Jigsaw of Life”
I was profoundly moved when I read this. The narrative swings from despair and desolation through to what seems almost like rebirth into a new life full of joy, hope and achievement.
There was some evocative phrasing, causing me to reflect or to wonder or to marvel.
I look forward to you sharing more of your journey.
The imagery is bold and stark from both ends of the spectrum – ‘A descent into hell’; ‘the witches’ formula of horrors exists that can call a person to destroy his or her own mind’; a path of transcendence that leads to a higher wisdom, wholeness and peace of mind’ and ‘a world of greater authenticity, freedom and healing’. Along with many others these very powerful statements that can trigger reactions in the reader – an empathic knowing; a reason to run and hide; a catalyst for curiosity and consideration….. Anne
Chapter 2: “Headhunters of Borneo”
“Watch out for the headhunters!” was a warning I should have taken more notice of.
An analogy for taking the road less travelled and daring to find new ways to travel, this chapter takes the reader on a short expedition to unexpectedly meet indigenous tribes in Asia.
Excerpt
“Borneo, a giant, rugged island in Southeast Asia’s Malay Archipelago … known for its beaches and ancient, biodiverse jungle landscape…. home to the clouded leopard, sun bear, gibbon, hornbill and many species of squirrels, langurs and civets. The rainforests there are a Darwinian treat for any explorer but the list of exotica misses a few necessary additions for the lonely survivor; it should also list wild pigs, snakes, scorpions, mosquitoes, leeches, pirhanas, poisonous trees, maggots, and, of course, “niyama!!” …. the local word for “man eating crocodiles” and “Pun-an!!” the somewhat fearful description for “headhunters”. more…
Chapter 3: Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained
Authenticity, the ability to truly be ourselves, comes from having the courage to be vulnerable.
This chapter is a short narrative on the kind of everyday voice that our vulnerability speaks to us with.
Excerpt:
“Learning how to overcome self-doubt and to live life fully with authenticity and an open heart can be a challenge for the person less possessed with natural confidence. Yet it is possible, with courage, to rise above the solitude, loneliness and pains of youth that can lead us into trauma after trauma. Its courage and vulnerability that many believe go hand in hand to bring more success and joy into our lives.
I’ve learned to listen carefully when my emotions run high, and panic or anger sets in. I’ve managed to dodge a few bullets coming my way simply by listening to what’s going on inside me and not giving a knee jerk reaction. It’s a good skill to have. Patience can give great insights and in that space of a few seconds of time it’s possible to embrace feelings, hear them and then decide which way to go. Fight or flight or just do nothing. This time I listened to my emotion of anxiety, felt the pain, and did nothing other than tune in. ” more…
Excerpt:
It’s not about religion, but it doesn’t exclude religion either. It doesn’t require adherence to any faith or philosophy; what it does do is let a little of the inner self become a little more of the outer self, and through that fascinating journey, find what has real meaning to us.”
“This story is about the mystical path that can arise through the process of healing trauma. A path of transcendence that leads to a higher wisdom, wholeness and peace of mind.
A path which, often referred to as “The Hero’s Journey”; embraces a person determined to face their own fears head on so they can live a life freer from the limits and suppression that has gone before.”
Chapter 5 – The Personality Type Predisposed to Trauma
“I’m Okay”, or “”I’m Not Okay”?
Excerpt:
“Some haven’t had the best emotional start in life, and that’s a fact. Understanding the negative influence it can have on later life can help trauma recovery immensely.
Is it possible to define a personality type that is predisposed to slower trauma recovery?, I think so and I believe that with this simple tool we can more easily recognise those at risk, and then, whether it is for ourselves or others, we can engage the compassion and understanding required for healing.” more…
Excerpt:
Mya was easy to be around. There was so much love and happiness in the air, but there was also a profound sense of loneliness that must have run deep through her existence. Rare visitors, trapped, caged, bright eyed but sad, great company with a mane of strong hair, she was the animal kingdom avatar of Clara.
She was also the epitome of the Type A personality; caged, suppressed, a lost soul, wanting to be out but not knowing how, trapped by circumstance and events beyond control; freedom dreamed about but never tasted, under the control of her dominant male keeper and events that caused her to become entrapped in the first place. more …
Chapter 7: A Spiritual Awakening Aged Three
For some children, born with gifts of healing and perception, the journey of awareness and consciousness starts at an early age. That wasn’t my story, but the journey towards higher consciousness started soon after and long before I could properly understand it .
Excerpt:
“In typical night-time dreams of youngsters, I was being chased by demons and monsters. It was almost a nightly occurrence and I felt that this was to be a forever thing – a fear of people and entities that I didn’t understand; dark, scary entities that I couldn’t escape from that were going to haunt me throughout my life.
But one night in one particular dream I had had enough. I challenged the monster chasing me.” more …
Chapter 8 A Spiritual Awakening in the Falklands
Sometimes life catches up with us at the most unexpected times and throws all the cards on the table, face up, saying:
“So what you going to do now of you want to stay alive?”
Excerpt:
“A cat has nine lives so how many had I used? That suddenly seemed a good train of thought.
Quite stupid in retrospect but sometimes the imminent prospect of a horrible death focusses the mind, and all sorts of “out of the box” thinking happens.
Do I believe in God? Now was a good time to find out as much as any. Was he open to a deal? Is he here? Does he exist? Am I going crazy? Is he listening? “Possibly” I thought, but soon decided to go back to the nine lives thing. “
Comment on “A Spiritual Awakening in the Falklands”
Thank you for sharing your incredibly harrowing, awful, then beautiful story. You have opened my eyes and lifted a lid on how shame can be so invisible. Your writing is captivating, honest and touching … Lindsey
Chapter 9: Excerpts from Climbing the Mountain: Journaling Historic Abuse for Self Healing
Some events take a lifetime to get over. The exercise of journaling and communicating with the inner self can be profoundly healing.
Because of the sensitivity of the subject, this chapter only contains excerpts from the full version.
Excerpt:
“The split outer and inner persons of me were completely in opposition. Whilst I had great drive and a huge sense of invincibility, I spent years begging for cancer as an acceptable way to get off the horrible treadmill of life.
But looking back, switching off personal dignity and the boundaries of who I was, was the most dangerous. Without it I was open, without any kind of a moral or spiritual compass to direct me.
I lost the value of myself. I lost the capacity to protect myself. And worst of all, I didn’t know it. People describe abuse as being something that stole a part of their soul that can never be found again. For me it led me to years of swaying between feeling invincible and feeling suicidal, whilst portraying an exterior of consistency and reliability in the harshest of circumstances.”
the full version (password protected) here…
It can be a magical thing to go back in time and be in the company of our younger selves. So many hidden memories, so many feelings to bring forward and keep us company today.
And sometimes, though the feelings might be difficult, we can help heal the pains of our youth through a gentle conversation.
This is such a conversation. More ….
Excerpt:
“I managed to snatch him from his life and take him to my safe place in my conservatory by the sea., away from his overbearing world with all its pressure and expectations.
He sat beside me in his own rocking chair, breakfast bowl in his hand, legs sticking out, feet still sandy from a beach walk, enjoying the time with his old man.”
Comments on “Breakfast Time”: Beautiful descriptive language and imagery that transports the reader into the picture like a silent witness. Anne
Chapter 12 The Power of Prayer: Elleanor
It’s how we manage the times of hardship that defines us the most as human beings. In the really tough times, nurturing a faith that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, and finding the strength to carry on despite there being no light, exemplifies what the human spirit can achieve when duty calls. More…
Excerpt:
“it was a little miracle, a little bit of happening where it needed to happen. A gift that touched the souls of those who were ready for it and needed it.
It also finally gave me an answer that I had been asking for years: that if I rejected the fearsome God that I had been taught about as a child, was there anything else at work that is good, that I can relate to, accept, believe in and experience myself? This experience gave me the answer in full”.
Comments on The Power of Prayer: Eleanor. “A guiding light to the rest of us to be more mindful, kind and gentle. You never know what someone has been through, unless they give you the honour that you gave to share what you could.” Lindsey
Chapter 13 After All The Fuss: Success
What use are high ideals if they don’t bring about worthwhile change?
This post shares the successes that followed the humble and lonely beginnings of a young man, determined to reach for the stars and be the best he could, no matter what it took. More …
Excerpt:
“Robustness was our keyword in this business and it proved to be a great success. No surprise that keywords to my life were being put out there in the real world, like Quest and Robust and Agility.
Our designs were proven in many other harsh environments around the world. The mountains of Peru, the remote forests of Cambodia, moraines of Antarctica, polar bear country of the Svalbard and the Artic, technically starved and poverty struck regions of Africa, the heat of Australian outback, earthquake zones in China, glaciers in the Alps.
Within four years the company was turning over one million pounds annually, received many coveted research awards, had twenty highly skilled employees, and four establishments around the North East including offices for design, research, manufacturing, sales and training.
Comment on “After All The Fuss” “Hi Nigel. Firstly I’ve enjoyed reading your latest blog and have to say I’m in awe of the success you’ve managed to attain throughout your business life. You now seem to be finding an inner peace and tranquillity – and what better place to be able to do that but in India – a place so close to my own heart. What a journey from that little Scottish lad in Edinburgh all those years ago! Sue B xx”
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